You might be thinking, “They have it so much better than me; they must be more worthy because they look so much better.” These feelings can mess with us in so many ways, pushing us to make decisions that don’t really benefit us in the long run, especially when those choices come from a place of insecurity. Today, I want to talk about insecurity and how I’d define it as someone who has struggled hard with it in every part of my life—not just with my appearance, but in my work, social status, and just as a person.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I’ve done so many things that I regret, both to myself and to people around me, just because I didn’t feel secure. I used to think it was just about my looks or my social status because I was often around people I saw as “big shots.” Even as a kid, though I never recognized it as jealousy or insecurity, I could see what others had and what I didn’t. I didn’t dwell on it much because I was busy studying and working hard, telling myself I’d get there on my own. But part of me always thought things would be easier if someone just lent a hand. I didn’t fully realize I was insecure until my late 20s, when I started feeling unattractive—maybe because, during the pandemic, I spent so much time seeing beautiful faces on social media. I’d ask myself, “Why don’t I look like that? Why can’t I afford those things?”

I tried to dig deep and understand myself, but it was hard because I was in a bad place. Certain events in my life just made my insecurities grow. I wanted to help myself so badly. I thought maybe surgery or some minor procedures would help. I had the money, so I went for it. But even after that, I just found myself thinking about the next thing I wanted to change. I got to a point where I hated looking in the mirror—I didn’t like what I saw. And it hit me one day that this was so much deeper than just looks or status. I noticed this because when I’d go to clinics for different treatments, no matter what they did, it was never enough. I never saw truly happy people there, and I knew something was off. These people were miserable… myself included. I realized that you can’t be beautiful and miserable at the same time.

I tried so many things—self-help books, and podcasts on acceptance—but nothing seemed to help. I even tried Bible study, which helped a bit because it guided me to dig into the real root of my insecurities, and that’s what I did. I came across a Bible verse: “For their tongues shoot lies like poisoned arrows. They speak friendly words to their neighbors while scheming in their heart to kill them.” (Jeremiah 9:8 NLT). It made me realize that true healing requires finding the root cause. Insecurity isn’t just about appearances, money, where you live, or what car you drive.

This verse helped me identify the source of my insecurities. Words, especially painful ones, can really stick with you and damage your sense of self. I looked back and found that my insecurities started when I was young, from the words I heard and the ways I was held back. I grew up in an environment where being “too much” was discouraged, where I was made to feel that I wouldn’t amount to anything because we were poor. And while I didn’t believe those words back then—I worked hard to prove them wrong—they left deep scars, making it hard for me to feel worthy of everything I’ve achieved.

And that’s the truth about insecurity. No amount of money, makeup, or surgery can truly heal it if you don’t know where it all began. For me, discovering the source was a game changer. The rest is hard work: acceptance and working to grow my mindset for a better version of myself. I decided I didn’t want to wake up dreading the mirror every day. There’s a mirror I face every morning in my bathroom where I brush my teeth, and now, instead of dread, I find comfort in my reflection.

It’s true—what I want for myself is simpler now. I still want nice things, but I go about them in a more mindful, meaningful way. Even the occasional facial or Botox is okay because I truly know what I want now, and I know my limits. It all comes down to self-acceptance and contentment. True beauty really does come from within.

I hope this helps, and I can’t wait to share more about my journey with spirituality and acceptance, and how it’s brought so much more peace and confidence into my life.